Book "Tourist Traps but Me" - Backpack Globetrotter Becomes Luxury Cruise Director"

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In 2005, the book "Tourist Traps but Me" - Backpack Globetrotter Becomes Luxury Cruise Director (in Dutch!) - by Wim Van Besien was published by Activating Tourism. English version suspended.

Orders : Sold out. A few last copies are still available from the author at Geerwijnstraat 9, 8000 Bruges, or by bank transfer to account number KBC 470-0511151-82, with the reference "tourist traps" and a clear postal address.

Now available for only €12.50 plus shipping costs . The ISBN is 9090196668. This handy, beautifully bound book contains 128 pages in a clear, attractive layout.

Some reactions : "It's a breeze to read," "Required reading for vacations, to be read during, not before, the trip," "The familiarity of it all translates readily into humor and irony." "A page-turner!"

Contents

How does a Greek captain seduce young tourists, and what does he do with them? How does the tourism industry maximize the return on a tourist? How do you secure the best seats at the pool and on the bus? How cruel is the revenge of a rejected cougar-with-money? You can read the answers, along with a wealth of other anecdotes and stories, in "Tourist Trials and Rise."

From a review: The book contains the testimony of a tourist pentito , but it is also a beautiful human story about the search for eternal love instead of superficial sex. The story begins with a young man's dream of a low-budget world trip. After six months, the journey ends in Central America due to tropical meningitis. But he gets a taste for it and becomes an entertainer in Spanish and Greek holiday clubs. It becomes a time of bright sunshine, attractive girls, and intense fun. He enjoys the work so much that he works his way up and, to his own surprise, becomes a cruise director on some of the world's most prestigious cruise ships. Glamour and glitter become his lot, but also many problems and frustrations. Nevertheless, he reaches the very top in his profession.

However, his marriage to an Italian woman forces him to give up all that. Amorous romances make way for a solid marriage and the status of a happy family man. A conscious choice. But also the realization that there will no longer be room for adventurous vacations or luxury cruises...

During an ordinary vacation many years later, he finds himself on the side of the vacationer and feels like a victim of mass tourism. In Tenerife, he remembers the pitfalls and traps set up for tourists. He muses, with perspective and self-deprecation, about how he himself, through many ups and downs, struggled through those remarkable, whirlwind years of tourism on the other side of the curtain.

"Tourist Traps but Me" is full of memorable moments, experienced in the most diverse circumstances in a world of the utmost luxury, and written with plenty of humour and irony. The book is also a guide for tourists who have felt cheated and deceived one too many times.

List of chapters

1. With a backpack full of enthusiasm

How do you become a cruise director on the world's most luxurious cruise ship? It's simple: start backpacking around the world at 24. Hasty readers can skip this chapter, as it only contains trivial incidents, such as: how do you fight off a gang of gunmen while staying in a brothel?

2. Sex, drinks and rock 'n' fun

My first steps in the tourism industry as an entertainer in Spanish and Greek holiday clubs. A whole new world opened up. I learned how to drink, how to seduce girls, how to entertain tourists, and how to make money out of them... The world is one big fiesta.

3. In the cruise business

Dreaming of glamour and glitter, I landed in the cruise world. But I quickly discovered: all that glitters isn't gold. There are cruise ships, and there are cruise ships. I debuted on the Soviet cruise ship Brezhnev, the tuned Lada of cruise ships, so to speak.

4. To the top and back again

I did it! As an assistant cruise director, I'm taking my first cruise around the world. After that, I'll become a cruise director for the first time. Even two dead passengers and a hurricane in the Bay of Biscay don't stop me. I reach the summit. And I'm discovering that you can also fall down.

5. A bit of Greek

I'm back in business: I'm becoming a cruise director for a Greek shipping company (Chandris). The organization is a shambles, and the captain has a hobby: boarding young female passengers, or even sexually assaulting them if they refuse to cooperate. Terrible times. But also a happy event: I'm meeting a woman who has nothing to do with the decadent cruise world.

6. Cruise buzz and sailor's blues

Just as I've reached the absolute pinnacle of cruise tourism on the Vistafjord, love calls me. I choose love, but it's with great sadness that I bid farewell to cruising on a Hawaiian terrace, sipping a large, exotic cocktail. A sailor swallowing the blues.

7. Home again

Traveling around the world is a thrill. Traveling around the world three times is also quite nice, especially if you're paid well. But by the fourth time, you've really seen it all. Then you start longing for a little house with a garden, a piece of cheese in your fridge and a local pub around the corner. Home sweet home! East or west, home is best!

8. Epilogue: Finally Getting Away

This first chapter is a flashback to my first steps in mass tourism. As a victim, that is. Because by then I had already built a career as a perpetrator. Read in this chapter how I experienced the tourist traps firsthand and decided to write about my own experiences. The testimony of a tourist pentito, so to speak...

9. L'amour toujours

Dear reader, now that you've read my story, you know I'm a family man through and through. That's why I'm now willing to open up about the hormonal aspects of the tourism industry. Because that hormonal aspect does exist. What do you want? Adventurous boys and girls finding each other in an atmosphere of sun, sea, and fun. That should make for a great day.

10. Shake hands and leave

If traveling is eating, then cruising is snacking. Unless the waiter stands right under a sprinkler with his Bombe Surprise. The Animal Bar isn't exactly what you'd call snacking either. But sometimes it's still a laugh, especially when a charming American tourist declares, "I found the Greek ruins in a very poor state." The ups and downs of a cruise director—here's the kicker.

Each chapter (except the glossary) is structured as follows:

o Title (usually cryptic: e.g. "A bit of Greek")

o Short introduction, intended as a teaser for the chapter and also clarification of the title.

o Text of the chapter

Synopsis "Tourist Traps but Me"

Background: I worked in the tourism industry for years, rising from a simple entertainer in a holiday club to a cruise director on one of the world's most luxurious and prestigious cruise ships (Cunard). A job not normally reserved for a "Belgian," but through sheer hard work, the right mix of PR and management skills, and extensive language skills, I got there. After I left that job and started traveling as a regular tourist, I experienced firsthand how tourists are treated like a herd of cows waiting to be milked. It was during one such herd trip to Tenerife that I decided to write this book. The testimony of a tourist pentito , so to speak.

There are three themes or common threads woven throughout this book.

• The 'tourist traps': how does the business get the most out of a tourist?

• A look behind the scenes of tourism: glamour, glitter, parties, sex…

• A 'human interest' aspect: my search for eternal love besides quick sex.

Structure of the book

A glossary as a kind of prologue. Not so much intended to be informative, but rather to set a lighthearted and humorous tone. An appetizer.

Chapters 1 through 7: A chronological account of my travel-loving past (from backpacking globetrotter to luxury cruise director). Interspersed with tons of anecdotes and true stories.

Chapter 8: Report on my family's trip to the Canary Islands. Things started going wrong at the airport, and in Tenerife, I was incredibly frustrated. During this trip, I decided to write this book about my "past" in the tourism industry.

Chapter 9: Anecdotes and reflections on sex and love on land, at sea and in the air.

Chapter 10: Anecdotes and reflections on the tourism business.

Review of the book

Review “Tourist Trials and Errors”, by the Belgian Federation of Tourist Press (2006).

Very few autobiographical books have been written in our country by people who have made their careers in the tourism industry. Usually, they are fascinated by tourism from a young age. This is also the case with Wim Van Besien, a native of Bruges, who originally discovered the world as a budget backpacker (he primarily describes his Central American experiences) and encountered numerous challenges firsthand. Through trial and error, he worked his way up from animator (entertaining to make money) in Spanish and Greek holiday clubs to CD (cruise director) of the world's most luxurious cruise ships, such as the Vistafjord.

However, due to family circumstances, this fascinating yet absorbing career came to an end, and the author is now the director of the successful events agency Perfect+ in Bruges. This book will undoubtedly be read in one sitting… Something that rarely happens to me, except recently with the acclaimed Da Vinci Code.

This autobiography, in 10 short chapters, is captivating from beginning to end. Written with a pleasant and fluent style and peppered with the necessary playful elements, one discovers many beautiful places around the world—often interwoven with historical events imprinted on our memories—and, of course, explores every nook and cranny of a floating hotel like a cruise ship. A wider audience will also find this book quite exciting, not only for the adventure but even for the downright erotic experience. Numerous clichés also surface: such as that of the superficial American pax (passengers) who think the world is their oyster, or the misbehavior of German tourists… and that of the well-behaved Belgians. Commercialization (or business) in tourism, and cruises in particular, is also discussed, with an emphasis on tourist traps.

This warm, human story is published by Activating Tourism in Bruges. It has 128 pages and costs €12.50. Currently only still available from the author.

Prof. PDG